Bird: “I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won?”
Bird: “God created all life; the rest came from China.”
Rebekkah – “I’m watching The Voice, and there are no commercials!! It’s a Hulu Miracle!”
” I’ll grab his ankles and make a wish..” ~ Grandpa Mallicoat
” I think the reason I like Aunt Debbie’s stuffing and not yours, Mom, is because this stuffing hasn’t touched a turkey’s ass. ” Rebekkah to Bird
Bird to Rebekkah: “I just woke up sick of all of it. Today, I’m the suicide bomber of minor disputes. People better tread softly…no one knows what I have strapped on beneath this smile!!”
“You have not known hunger until you’ve given birth. Someone could bring a cow in, and slaughter it in front of you, and you would say, ‘Yes!'” — Emily regarding the birth of our co-worker’s first child.
“I want to squish you guys into one big Martin. A Martin-Mash.” — Emily DB
Bird to Rebekkah: “If you come back with only one smashed penny you paid too much for, I’ll smash YOU. At least then we’ll have a set of something.”
Caitlyn (Bug) sent this to me (her mother). It is vintage Bug, and I laughed and laughed when I saw it:
“When keeping it real goes wrong….” JR at Electric
“All he needed was some sunblock and a hip bag to be the whitest man I’ve ever seen. Honestly, man, have you no shame??” — Dj
“I wanted to do this gesture – (mimes hand job), but we got in trouble for being “lewd” in the MAINTENANCE SQUADRON…” Bug
” If this (the rail) hadn’t been here, I would have been splat! Onemonepiad all over the sidewalk.” — Emily
After falling into a pot hole while drunk — “It’s okay. I’m not driving!” — Emily
On the return to the conversation — “Sorry. Some cheeky mother-fucker keeps putting their trash outside my door, and I thought that was what was happening.” — Bug
Conversation between Cait (Bug) and some Dude:
Dude: You’re freakin’ sexy.
Bug: I think my brain just quit working.
Bug: Because that was both off topic and wildly inappropriate.
Emily and Rebekkah in the car:
Me: Oh, I can do shadow puppets!
Emily: Stop it….that’s distracting. I can’t see the weed.
“This is just how I am. I’ve been trained to lie by my parents because they lie to me.” — Lee Maher
“It’ll be just like Thelma and Louise, without the suicidal ending.” — Emily
“But to live outside the law, you must be honest.” — sticker at Arnie‘s Bar