Sons of Pride

jobI have family members and friends who are staunchly atheistic or agnostic. This only bothers me in that they might not make it to where I am going after this life. Other than that, they are, of course, entitled to what they believe. One thing I’ve noticed though, is the strange assumption that God owes them some kind of explanation should He turn out to be real. Of course, they will never get this opportunity to criticize Him.  He doesn’t explain Himself to His creation. Every knee shall bow, and every tongue confess, Jesus is Lord. And it won’t be on our terms. It will be on His.

Nothing really paints a better picture of the difference between a Creator and a creation than Job. Here are some questions a creation should always ask before challenging God.

It is a no-win argument He will never have with any of us. 

  1. Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?7593fd186eea76aca30b29b7ebdc7080
  2. Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
  3. Who set its measurements?
  4. Who stretched the line on it?
  5. On what were its bases sunk?
  6. Who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and the sons of God shouted for joy?
  7. Who enclosed the sea with doors when, bursting fort, it went out from the womb?
  8. Have you ever in your life commanded the morning, ad caused the dawn to know its place?
  9. Have you entered into the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep darkness?
  10. Have you understood the expanse of the earth?
  11. Where is the way to the dwelling of light?
  12. And darkness, where is its place?
  13. Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or have you seen the storehouses of the hail, which I have reserved for the time of distress, for the day of war and battle?
  14. Where is the way that the light is divided, or the east wind scattered on the earth?
  15. Who has cleft a channel for the flood, or a way for the thunderbolt, to bring rain on a land without people, on a desert without a man in it?
  16. Has the rain a father?
  17. Who has begotten the drops of dew?
  18. From whose womb has come the ice? And the frost of heaven, who has given it birth?
  19. Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades, or loose the cords of Orion?
  20. Can you lead forth a constellation in its season, and guide the Bear with her leviathan (1)satellites?
  21. Do you know the ordinances of the heavens, or fix their rule over the earth?
  22. Can you lift up your voice to the clouds, so that an abundance of water will cover you?
  23. Can you send forth lightning’s that they may go and say to you, “here we are?”
  24. Who has put wisdom in the innermost being or given understanding to the mind?
  25. Who can count the clouds by wisdom, or tip the water jars of the heavens, when the dust hardens into a mass and the clods stick together?
  26. Can you hunt the prey for the lion, or satisfy the appetite of the young lions, when they crouch in their dens and lie in wait in their lair?
  27. Who prepares for the raven its nourishment, when its young cry to God and wander about without food?
  28. Do you know the time the mountain goats give birth?
  29. Do you observe the calving of the deer?
  30. Can you count the months the fulfill, or do you know the time they give birth?
  31. Who sent out the wild donkey free? Who loosed the bonds of the swift donkey?
  32. Will the ox consent to serve you?
  33. Can you bind the wild ox in a furrow with ropes, or will he harrow the valleys after you?
  34. Will you trust him because his strength is great and leave your labor to him?
  35. Will you have faith in him that he will return your grain and gather it from your threshing floor?
  36. Do you give the horse his might? Do you clothe his neck with a mane? Do you make him leap like the locust?
  37. Is it by your understanding that the hawk soars, stretching his wings to the south?
  38. Is it by your command that the eagle mounts up and makes his nest high?
  39. Will the faultfinder contend with the Almighty? Let him who reproves God answer it.
  40. Will you really annul My judgement?
  41. Will you condemn e that you may be justified?
  42. Do you have an arm like God, can you thunder with a voice like His?
  43. Can anyone capture the Behemoth, which I made as well as you?
  44. Can you draw out Leviathan with a fishhook?
  45. Can you press down his tongue with cord?
  46. Can you put a rope in his nose, or pierce his jaw with a hook?Leviathan
  47. Will he make many supplications to you, or will he speak to you soft words?
  48. Will he make a covenant with you?
  49. Will you take him as a servant for you forever?
  50. Will you play with him as a bird?
  51. Will you bind him for your maidens?
  52. Will traders bargain for him?
  53. Will they divide him among the merchants?
  54. Can you fill his skin with harpoons, or his head with fishing spears?
  55. Who is he who can stand before Me?
  56. Who has given to Me that I should repay him?

Some of us were created for destruction, and I understand this. But it cross_summit_cross_christianity_218516grieves me that any of them should be people I love.

~ Bird

The Art of Making An Impression

A few years ago, I was looking for a job, and in an effort to shake things up a bit, I applied for positions that I normally wouldn’t have considered before. I’ve mainly worked in accounting and human resources all my life, but after my little stint of owning some bars, I thought I’d give bar management a try.

Finally, after sending out resumes, and phone call screening interviews, I was granted an interview in front of a board of members for a position with one of the numerous Elk’s Clubs in the area. I was nervous, but excited. It was a definite step in a different direction. I’ve always hated interviews in front of multiple people, so I set about making myself mentally prepared for any questions they might ask me.

I don’t normally stress much on what to wear to an interview. I have a few business suits that are my “interview” suits, but thinking that I would dress it up a bit for this job, I decided to wear a dress that I hadn’t worn in years. I tried it on, and was pleased with the way it looked, and so mentally, I felt like I was prepared for the interview.

The day arrived, rainy and gloomy, but I went full steam ahead with my plans. I felt like I looked professional; mentally, I was ready for any question that might be lodged at me, and I had my mapquest directions to the club. I was ready to rock.

Everything went according to plan up until I was sitting in the bar area waiting for my name to be called for the interview. Looking around, I studied the other applicants, and I was instantly glad I had decided to wear a dress. There were three other women interviewing, and two of them were drop-dead gorgeous women. One of them was wearing a business suit, but with a somewhat revealing top, and the other one had a bit of a mini-skirt on. It was a little disconcerting to me that there were only women applicants.

Deciding to keep my OCD brain under control, I tried to focus on stuff at my own table and quit obsessing over stuff I had no control over. Looking in my lap, I noticed a long thread sticking to my dress, and I absently picked at it….until I heard a soft, zipper-like sound up the back of my dress…. The somewhat snugness of the dress went slack, and I sat in horror remembering exactly why I had put this dress in the back of my closet all those years ago.

Looking around, I stood up, holding my dress closed in the back the best I could, and made a mad dash to the restroom. Sure enough, the damage was incredible. Where there used to be a tasteful 6 inch split at the knee area of the dress, there was a hoochie split that went up to the bottom of my bra strap. And what was peeking out wasn’t sexy either. I had my granny panties plastered firmly to my rear-end by control-top panty-hose that were slightly too big for me.  There was no fixing this.

I was on the horns of a dilemma. I could make a mad dash to my car, drive home in humiliation, and block this phone number from ever calling me again, or I could go ahead and interview, using this embarrassment as a humor tool that would guarantee they’d not forget me name any time soon, even if I didn’t get the job.

I decided to finish the interview process. I’d worked really hard getting to this point, and I wasn’t going to be defeated by a dress mishap or paralyzing humiliation. Using the bathroom mirror, I memorized which parts of the dress I needed to hold closed to mitigate the most humiliating exposure, and I marched back into the bar, and stood quietly in a corner until my name was called. Thankfully, I was called last, and the bar was empty, except for the bartender.

“Miss Martin?” a small, wrinkled man called out.

“Here,” I called, clumsily moving towards him.

Motioning to some stairs, the man directed me to proceed ahead of him.

Stairs.      I seriously have no luck.

Looking the guy squarely in the eye, I told him that my dress had just ripped from bottom to top in the back and that I needed him to go up those stairs first, and to tell everyone in that room to turn their eyes until I sat down. No peeking!!

At first he was startled, then he burst out laughing. I was laughing, too, but only from being nervous.  He did what I asked, and I could hear a room full of people laughing as I walked in. But, they all had their heads averted as I sat down.

After a few random business questions that no one seemed to be focused on, one guy asked me why I hadn’t just gone home when I tore my dress and tried to reschedule my interview. I told him that I figured I’d use this misfortune to my advantage…..   🙂

“You probably won’t remember one answer I give you today, but you’ll remember that I went through with this interview with the entire back of my dress ripped open. ” The group of 11 men looked at each other nodding, and I instantly knew I’d made a good decision.

I made them all turn around as I made my break for the door after the interview was over, and speeding home, my cell phone rang.

I got the job…


— Bird