I’ve realized lately I’m kind of a Trauma Blogger. When things in my life are smooth, I get writer’s block, but when I’m upset, I find comfort in putting my thoughts down in writing. Hence, I call it trauma blogging.
It says something about how well life has been smoothing out for me these last few years when you notice I went from writing hundreds of posts a year to just a few handfuls. I’ve been thinking lately, maybe it is just time to close down this blog. I mean, after all, I’m happy, and wisdom doesn’t tend to ride on the wings of contentment. Wisdom always rides piggyback with tears, sorrow, and grief. And what’s the point of writing if you aren’t sharing wisdom you’ve garnered along this journey we call life?
On top of that reason, I’ve noticed lately I haven’t wanted to share as much publicly about my thoughts. As I’ve delved a little deeper in relationships with new friends, I find myself less willing to expose their troubles. I mean, I have been navigating new waters about stuff that is going on in other people’s lives, and I am truly interested in why we feel the way we feel about certain things, but their issues are private, and I can’t expose them. It’s a new thing for me. It was one thing to blog about the end of my marriage, or the motorcycle club, or parenting. I was a primary player in those stories. But I’m sidelined right now, merely a spectator, and their stories aren’t mine to tell.
2016 sucked for most of us, but for me less, I think. When I stroll through the posts I wrote in 2012, 2013, and 2014, it is easy to recall the pain, tears, and grief I was experiencing, and that is all it takes for me to appreciate how rather uneventful 2016 was in comparison. My trend has been going upward.
I’m not going to close down this blog, but instead, I am going to try to learn to write well without trauma. I do love to write, but I’m uninterested in living in chaos and destruction in order to do so. I imagine it will take me some time to get this down, but I’m willing to give it a shot. In the meantime, I want to thank all of my blogging friends for staying with me on this adventure all these years. Hopefully, I can find my old sense of humor and interest in the world around me I once had when I first started this thing.